REGINA -- Winnifred Pasqua grew up in a hard working and loving home on a farm in Pasqua First Nation alongside her three siblings.
“I come from a very strong family. We were taught how to work, how to survive, how to love and how to provide for ourselves in the economic way that our grandfather showed us with farming, cattle and gardening but through the years, there was alcohol and drugs and domestic violence. All of the above. I didn’t know what that was when I was a child,” said Pasqua, who is also a direct descendent of Chief Paskwa, one of the signatory chiefs of Treaty 4 in 1874, between the Indigenous people, the Crown and the Government of Canada.
Pasqua’s father attended Lebret Indian Residential School during the 1960s and when he came home, the pain, abuse and trauma he experienced in school carried onto his family. Sports, two part-time jobs and her grandmother’s home was Pasqua’s escape.
“The residential school really destroyed my family. I was starting to run away from home when I was a child to get away from the abuse. I was taught not to talk, not to speak, to just dig it down.”
In 1992, her grandmother Vernique Winnifred Otchoo IronEagle passed away. Pasqua says that was when she picked up the bottle.
“I didn’t know how to deal with anything but just drink it away. I wasn’t myself. I didn’t know who I was. I was a different person. I was lost already,” said Pasqua.
For the next 28 years, Pasqua would live with her addiction of alcohol and soon after, multiple kinds of drugs.
“I ended up in the hospital. I didn’t know somebody laced that pipe with crystal meth. They revived me back and the doctor said, ‘You’re lucky to be alive.’ I could have been dead and I didn’t know what crystal meth was. They found it in my blood, along with other drugs. I continued on with the drugs and experienced needles” said Pasqua.
When she moved to Regina in 1996, she began to raise her new born daughter alongside her partner. Alcohol continued in the home and she became a victim of domestic violence.
“My mom picked me up one morning and I was black and blue. She made me look in the mirror and she said, ‘Is this the kind of life you want to live? Six feet under?’ I couldn’t even see out of my eyes and I just smashed that mirror and it shattered,” said Pasqua.
In 2012 and 2013, her son’s Legacy and Layson were born but her addictions continued and she became the abuser with her new partner. Gangs would also get her involved with the police. In 2014, with both her sons in provincial care, she spent 30 days at Pine Grove Correctional Centre in Prince Albert. It was that 30 days, where Pasqua said she could finally slow down and realize what kind of life she has lived.
“I told myself I’m going to try hard to get my kids back, to work on myself and rebuild my life because once I walked out of Pine Grove, I didn’t look back. It’s a place I never want to be in again,” said Pasqua.
Now at 43 years-old, Pasqua is six years sober, has a clean home and thanks to the help of Pasqua First Nation she was able to get her kids back in her arms. She credits traditional ceremonies like the rain dance, sweat lodge, traditional medicines and smudging in helping her heal from her past. She also thanks the Pasikow Muskwa Healing Centre in Fort Qu’Appelle for helping her.
“I gave myself to the Creator to follow direction. I smudge everyday. I go for walks in the bush and cry and let Mother Nature take my pain away. It’s time that we make a change within ourselves now. It’s time to change for our children.”
Pasqua hopes her story can inspire others to find the help they need. She now has a new goal of completing her university education to become a teacher.
“It has to come from us parents to quit these addictions. To become better parents. To live a healthy lifestyle. To walk the teachings of the spiritual and traditional ways if you’re going to give yourself to the Creator.”
